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No Secrets
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“Don’t tell” is all too often the name of the game when it comes to teen suicide. When a friend asks another to keep the secret, it multiplies the effects of the epidemic of teen suicide, the third leading cause of death for young people in our country. The aftermath includes grief, guilt and profound remorse on the part of the one who has failed to tell somebody who could help. | ||
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SQUEAL … RAT… “NARC”…WHATEVER IT’S CALLED, IT’S CONSIDERED THE ULTIMATE SIN AT A TIME IN LIFE WHEN TEENS ARE DESPERATE TO FIT IN.
Jim Hamilton, United Methodist pastor: “I think that’s the name of the game they’re playing, that their peers put on them, is ‘Don’t tell’ - and that’s where our trouble is.”
YOUNG PEOPLE MUST LIVE WITH AIDS, DESIGNER DRUGS, SCHOOL YARD SHOOTING SPREES. AND THE MORE THEY FEAR, THE MORE DEADLY THE SECRETS CAN BE.
Luis Valenzuela (16-year-old): “I asked him, ‘Why are you thinking about committing suicide?’ And he said, ‘Don’t worry about it.’”
16-YEAR-OLD LUIS VALENZUELA’S BEST FRIEND MADE HIM SWEAR NOT TO TELL A SOUL THE FRIEND WAS CONSIDERING SUICIDE. LUIS KEPT THE SECRET, HOPING IT WOULD NEVER COME TRUE.
Luis: “I thought that if I told him that I wasn’t going to be able to keep his secret, he wouldn’t like me any more.”
A FEW WEEKS LATER, THE FRIEND OVERDOSED ON SLEEPING PILLS, LEAVING A GOOD-BYE NOTE BEHIND.
Luis: “At the bottom of the paper, it said, ‘Tell Luis thank you for keeping my secret.’”
MORE SCHOOLS ARE LAUNCHING ESSAY CONTESTS TO HELP TEENS CONFRONT THEIR FEARS. THE GOAL IS TO GET THEM THINKING ABOUT WHEN IT’S APPROPRIATE TO CONFIDE IN AN ADULT IF A FRIEND IS IN DANGER OR HAS A PROBLEM.
Jim Hamilton: “As they start writing, start researching, and putting it together, they will probably find that they’re not the only ones that feel that way. And I think that’s why communication is so important.”
LUIS SAYS WRITING ABOUT HIS BEST FRIEND’S SUICIDE HAS HELPED HIM DEAL WITH SOME OF THE GUILT AND THE PROFOUND REMORSE HE WAS LEFT WITH.
Luis: “And I never thought that he would do something like this, but apparently he did. And it could have been prevented if I had told somebody.”