Once you're a parent, you never lose that sense of responsibility to and "for" your child, no matter how old. But, given laws enacted in most states now, it's more than a "sense" of responsibility, it's a legal fact... until a child is 18. A child is shaped by parents, mostly, but also by innate personality traits, and teachers, television, pop culture, chance... When that child skips class, or spray paints his name on a wall, or takes a gun to school...how much blame should there be left over beyond the child himself?

ALMOST AS SOON AS THE SOUND OF GUNFIRE ENDS, THE SOUND OF RECRIMINATION BEGINS. WHO IS TO BLAME FOR CRIMES LIKE COLUMBINE?

POLLS FIND PARENTS AT FAULT ALSO. 25 STATES HAVE PASSED LAWS THAT HOLD PARENTS LIABLE FOR THE ACTS OF THEIR CHILDREN. THIS MOM LEARNED A LESSON...WHEN SHE WENT TO BED AND LEFT HER DAUGHTER AND FRIENDS ALONE.

“Jenny”: “Later some boys showed up with wine coolers. Next thing you know the police were there. The kids were arrested, and I was too. Even though I didn’t know anything about it I was arrested. It took a lot of time and money to set that right.”

Brenda Dew, Ph.D. Family Therapist: “There’s never going to be a time that my teen is in my house with other teens, that I’m not going to be awake and know what’s going on. That’s being a parent.”

FAMILY THERAPIST BRENDA DEW CHALLENGES PARENTS TO BE CREATIVE IN DEALING WITH ISSUES FACING THEIR FAMILIES.

Brenda Dew: “If your child is skipping school, then take the day off from work. Take your child to school, sit with them. Sit through the classes. You won’t have to sit but one day, and then you go home and tell the child...’Today I lost work, this is how much money I lost, and this was your share, so you don’t get it today.’”

(seminar)

“Your job is to discipline, not to punish.”

DESPITE THE FACT SOME PEOPLE TODAY FEEL SOCIETY HAS TAKEN AWAY THEIR POWER AS PARENTS, DR. DEW SAYS THEIR RESPONSIBILITY HASN’T CHANGED.

Brenda Dew: “They need to have a parent who is willing to say ‘No’ and hear the kid say ‘I hate you, I hate you, I hate you’... and you turn around and go ‘Okay, but I love you.’”